Spouses often minimize direct interactions with one another during divorce. While negotiating privately may seem like the most efficient solution for settling disagreements about parenting and financial matters, attempts to negotiate can often lead to higher conflict levels that trigger negative emotions and worsen the dynamic between the spouses.
Frequently, one spouse may choose to leave the marital home before the divorce is final. They may also request that all communication goes through their legal representation, meaning their attorney responds to any inquiries or proposed settlements. While this form of indirect communication may seem hostile, it often helps to keep the divorce process as amicable as possible.
Intense emotions are normal
Even those who file for divorce may experience grief, anger and resentment during the divorce process. Direct interactions can bring up difficult emotions and cloud people’s judgment. When feelings, rather than facts, inform negotiations, spouses are more likely to find themselves at an impasse. They can also worsen their dynamic, which can be especially concerning if they share children with one another.
For many people, minimizing interactions is the best way to reduce conflict levels. Attorneys are effective filters for marital communications. They focus on the practical, rather than the personal.
The only direct communication necessary may relate to matters involving children. Arranging for child-related communication to go through a parenting app or to always be in writing can promote calmer interactions despite intense emotions.
Relying on a lawyer to oversee communications related to one’s divorce can actually be a way to prevent hostilities from increasing rather than a form of passive-aggressive punishment or a sign of an acrimonious divorce. Learning more about the divorce process can help people make the best use of the tools at their disposal, including systems for written and indirect communication.